


Evelyn's Escape

by Willowflower_Waterlily



Series: Aches and Healing (Evelyn and Malcolm Series 1) [3]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-22
Updated: 2015-05-30
Packaged: 2018-03-31 17:29:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 11,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3986635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willowflower_Waterlily/pseuds/Willowflower_Waterlily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After her defeat of Coryfeus, her advisers are pushing Evelyn to get married. When she hears that they are going to agree to a contract on her behalf, she takes matters into her own hands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Evelyn throws the marriage contracts into the fire, glaring at her advisers. "No."

"But Inquisitor, now that Coryfeus is defeated, you will be expected to marry." Josephine's expression is one of forced patience.

"No, now get out." Evelyn points to the stairs. Josephine sighs, shaking her head. "And before you get any ideas to agree to someone on my behalf, the day that happens is the day you'll need to find a new Inquisitor." Following them down the stairs, Evelyn shuts the door behind them, and presses her ear against it.

"Send a message back to Denerim, saying yes." Evelyn hears Josephine say in a soft tone.

"I will, but what if she finds out? She is not one to make idle threats."

"Ladies, this is wrong, and I will have no part in it." Cullen's heavy footfalls fade as he stomps away from them.

"We will make sure she doesn't find out until after he arrives." Josephine chuckles. Evelyn locks the door, then tip toes back up the stairs to collect a small bag she packed months ago. Quickly she pens a note to her advisers.

 

_I resign, find yourself a new pawn to play with._

 

"Cole." Evelyn calls out. The spirit appears before her, with a bag in his hand, daggers on his back.

"You want me to come with you, so I can't tell them you left." Evelyn nods, and presses the button to the trap door.


	2. Chapter 2

Leliana leans against Josephine's desk. "Have you seen the Inquisitor today?"

"No, she's probably still sulking in her room because she'll have to get married sooner or later." Josephine rolls her eyes, not looking up from her work.

"If you try to push it on her, she'll resent anyone you set before her." Josephine looks up to give her opinion on the matter, but the annoyed expression on Leliana's face stops her. "Evelyn has been through so much, and if the encounters with Cullen didn't occur, I would be inclined to agree with you. She's sacrificed so much to save us all, just let her take a breath and find someone in her own time. Unless you doubt your ability as ambassador to keep our allies happy..."

"Fine, fine. When Evelyn stops sulking I'll tell her she doesn't have to have more than diplomatic meetings with the King of Ferelden."

"Have either of you seen either Evelyn or Cole?" Dorian strolls into the room. The women shake their heads. "That’s odd, because she would have stopped by to see me by now, and when I called for Cole to see if she was okay, he didn't show up."

"Maybe he's helping her sulk." Josephine smirks at Dorian.

"When did you demand she get married last?"

"It was last night, after dinner." Leliana looks over at Josephine, her face going completely blank.

"She should have definitely been by to see me by now. Have either of you tried to check on her?" They shake their heads again. "I have, and I couldn't get in. The key worked fine, but it's like the door is jammed."

"We could check on her by using the passage from the war room." Leliana motions for Josephine and Dorian to follow.

 

Entering Evelyn's room from the trap door, they see that she isn't there. The fire had been out for hours, and her bed wasn't slept in. Dorian strides to the desk, to look through the parchment littering the top. "I resign. Find yourself a new pawn to play with."

"What did you say Dorian?" Leliana approaches him, and he hands her the note. "Crap... Josie, do you think she heard us?"

"Heard you say what exactly?" Dorian frowns at the women in the room with him.

"I told Leliana to send a message to Denerim saying yes to a meeting with the King of Ferelden, a meet and greet."

"But if she was listening though the door, she would have thought we were arranging a marriage. Damn it Josie, I told you she doesn't make idle threats."

"Get the Commander and have a meeting, quickly. The more time we waste standing around here, the further she is from us. I'll gather the rest of her remaining inner circle. One of the others might know where she went to." Leliana and Josephine nod, and the three of them get to work.


	3. Chapter 3

"I don't like what you've done with your hair." Hawke's voice makes Evelyn jump. "It looked better when it was blonde." Evelyn unsheathes her sword, pointing it at the men now standing in front of her. "Is that any way to treat an old friend?" Lowering her sword, Evelyn winces at the pain in Hawke’s eyes.

"They don't know." Cole’s voice breaks the tense silence building between the four of them.

"Don't know what, kid?" Varric tilts his head, studying Cole and Evelyn.

"I left the Inquisition so I wouldn't be forced into a loveless marriage." Evelyn frowns at them. "When did you leave? If you're able to catch up with me, they might be able to as well."

"We left not long after I saw you slipping out, I wanted to know why." Hawke explains. "And since I was only there to take Varric back to Kirkwall, I had an excuse to leave whenever."

"So you're not here to try to drag me back to Skyhold?" Evelyn sheathes her sword, keeping her hand on the hilt, just in case.

"I probably should, but no, I'm not. You can come with us, four can travel more safely than two. I would imagine that you want to put as much distance between us and Skyhold as we can before they find out." Evelyn nods, and motions for everyone to keep moving. They walk for a while, listening to hear if anyone has spotted them, or, in Cole's case, if they found out that Evelyn is missing. "Do you think they would have really forced you to marry someone you don't want to?" Hawke asks, breaking the silence.

"Yes." Evelyn sighs, staring at the ground before her as she walks. "Josephine has been pushing me to pick one of the people that sent a marriage contract, that I am  _expected_  to marry now because Coryfeus is dead. I've been used enough, I don't need some man using me too."

"What do you mean?"

"I'd rather not get in to it right now." Evelyn can practically feel worry radiating from Hawke. She sees Varric shake his head out of the corner of her eye when Hawke opens his mouth to ask more questions.

 

"They've found out." Cole frowns in the direction they had come from. "Arguing and doubts. They haven't sent anyone out yet."

"Okay, good. We still have time before they come looking. Where do they think we're going?" The group pauses and they look at Cole.

"They have no idea. It's hard to hear them this far." Evelyn nods at the spirit, and they continue to walk on in silence.


	4. Chapter 4

"We should rest, Evelyn." Hawke reaches for Evelyn to get her to stop. "We've been walking almost nonstop for about two days now. We all need to nap at the very least."

"They could catch up to us in no time if they're on horseback. It's a little over two and a half days to Jader walking, but only one and half by horse."

"That is assuming that they would even think to come this way." Hawke taps his chin for a moment, thinking. "We left the same night, and they would notice that, but they think Varric and I are heading to Lothering. If they think you're with us, they would go that way. Is there anywhere else they would check?"

"There was a small abandoned village to the south east of Skyhold that had this beautiful little lake not far from it. I did tell Dorian that it would be where I would go the minute I didn't have to be Inquisitor anymore. Everyone knows I love a spot in the Emerald Graves." Evelyn looks around them, sighing. "I suppose we could take a break to nap. No fire and we'll take shifts, two down, two up."

 

The sound of horses startles them. "Cover your face with your arm." Hawke turns to the rogues. "Cole, Varric, hide." They nod and vanish. From the path ahead of Hawke, two Inquisition scouts approach. "Good evening, gentlemen. How may I help you?"

"We're looking for a woman, about six feet tall with blonde hair. Have you seen anyone matching that description?"

"No sir, my wife and I haven't seen anyone else since we started our journey." Hawke gestures to Evelyn, who's pretending to be asleep. One of the scouts looks down and frowns at her red hair.

"If you see anyone by that description, would you please tell someone from the Inquisition?"

"Yes, of course." Hawke salutes. He watches them walk away, before kneeling beside Evelyn, leaning over to whisper in her ear. "They went, but I'm not entirely sure they've gone. Can you do accents?"

Evelyn nods, turning to face him. Butterflies flutter in her stomach as she and Hawke stare into each other’s eyes. His wife? Why would that be what he thinks of? Why would someone like him ever want someone like her? He’s always been so kind, taking care of her when she needed it the most. Maker, she wishes she had met Hawke before she ever met Cullen. Sudden fear kills the butterflies, filling her with dread. What if he finds out what she had done with Cullen? Would he still look at her the same? Shame and fear dance on her soul. What would Hawke think of her, if he knew that she willingly let Cullen use her? That she did it because she hoped Cullen would care for her. It’s only a matter of time before he finds out. Pushing down her emotions, Evelyn tries to convince herself she’s overthinking. He just came up with a random excuse.

"I’m your wife?" Evelyn’s cheeks turn pink under Hawke’s gaze.

"It was the first thing I could think of." Hawke grins at her. "We should get moving, either way, just in case they're still close by. I didn't hear their horses move off." He offers Evelyn his hand, pulling her up and into him. In the couple of years since Hawke had last held Evelyn at Adamant, he had never forgotten what it felt like to hold her in his arms, to feel her body pressed against his. It is a memory he replayed in his mind everyday they were apart. No matter how dark his days or how lonely his nights were, the memory of her kept him going. "We should give them a show, if they're still watching." Hawke’s heart speeds up as he lowers his gaze to her mouth. He aches with a longing he’s felt ever since he realized his feelings for her.

"A show?" Evelyn’s breathy voice breaks through Hawke’s thoughts. Gently caressing her cheeks with his hands, Hawke nods and presses his lips against hers. Evelyn gasps, before kissing him back. Their kiss deepens, as they wrap their arms around one another in a tight embrace. After a while, they hear the horses moving away from them. Not wanting the moment to end, they cling to each other, their kiss becoming more fervent. When they break the kiss, Hawke and Evelyn stare for a moment, unsure of what to do next or what their kiss means for them. "That was... Some show we gave them, Hawke."

"Call me Malcolm." He gently kisses Evelyn, slipping his fingers between hers. "We should go, we're less than a day from Jader. Varric and Cole will meet us there, on Isabela's ship." Evelyn nods, and they continue on to Jader, walking hand-in-hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 6/21/15. (Chapters 1-3 were also edited, but not much was changed.)


	5. Chapter 5

Cullen paces behind his desk, praying that Evelyn is safe. The horn sounds, and he rushes out of his office to see if she had been found. Two scouts and no Evelyn ride through the gate in haste. Cullen kicks to stone wall, and walks back into his office. One of the scouts rushes into his office not long after he does. "Commander," the scout salutes him.

"Anything?" Cullen tries to keep his voice even, trying to force any worst case scenarios from his mind.

"We located Serrah Hawke, and he was with a red haired woman of about the Inquisitor's height and build almost half a day from Jader. Serrah Varric and Cole were not with them, and Serrah Hawke called the woman as his wife."

"His what?" Cullen roared, making the scout wince.

"His... His wife, Sir." The scout wrings his hands together and takes a deep breath. "We walked out of view but kept an eye on them for a moment. They spoke and he helped her up. That was when they..."

"When they what? Out with it man." Cullen glares at the man, his voice authoritative.

"When they kissed," the scout's voice squeaky and barely audible, from fright.

"Dismissed." The scout salutes, turns on his heels and runs out of Cullen's office. Cullen looks down at the papers on his desk, trying to collect his thoughts and steady his emotions. Evelyn and Hawke kissing, why would they? Was there something going on between them? Cullen shakes his head, trying to push his jealousy to the side. He had his chance to kiss her, and he never did.

"What did you do to that poor man? I'm surprised he didn't piss himself." Alistair laughs, standing in the doorway to Cullen's office.

"I may have been a bit harsh, but they located Evelyn and Hawke. They're making for Jader."

"If we leave now and ride hard, we could make it there in a day. Shall we run this idea by the ladies?" Cullen nods, and they call a meeting to let Leliana and Josephine know their plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 6/21/15


	6. Chapter 6

Evelyn and Hawke slip into Jader with a large group of people. They walk slowly enough to not draw attention to themselves, but quickly enough that they blend in with the people around them. After a nerve wracking hour through the city, they finally reach Isabela's ship. Hawke whistles five times and one of the crew members extends a plank out to them. After, Hawke and Evelyn are aboard, the plank is pulled back again. "Hawke!" A Rivaini woman with a dark tan exclaims.

"Isabela." Hawke smiles at the woman. "This is Evelyn."

"Well, hello there sexy." Isabela purrs, eyeing Evelyn, who turns scarlet from the pirate's attention. "I didn't know you went for red heads, Hawke. I thought you preferred blondes."

"Never mind that." Hawke rolls his eyes at her. "How quickly can we leave?"

"Any time now, why? Is someone after you?"

"They’re after me, actually." Evelyn points to herself. "I resigned and fled from the Inquisition, and they'll be looking to take me back."

"Why would... Oh." Isabela's eyes grow wide. "You're the Inquisitor, aren't you? Hawke's told me a lot about you. We'll have to talk, later." Hawke blushes as Isabela winks at Evelyn, before running off to give the order to set sail. Evelyn raises an eyebrow at Hawke, and is amused when he starts to stammer.

"You told her a lot about me?" Evelyn grins, amusement in her voice. Hawke runs his fingers through his black hair, and turns his gaze away from her for a moment.

"I may have told her a few things about you. All positive, I swear." Hawke looks into her eyes again. "Well, mostly positive. There were times that you seemed like you were aching, and I wanted to help you. I didn't know if I knew you well enough to ask." Evelyn closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

"I don't think I would have told you." Evelyn opens her eyes to look into Hawke's soft brown eyes. "I still don't know if I can."

"Would it be okay with you if I asked Varric or Cole what happened?" Hawke watches Evelyn debate it in her head. What could have happened to her that she has to think it over so thoroughly? Hawke keeps himself from reaching out to her. They kissed yes, but he doesn’t know if she would want him to hold her again. As wonderful as their kiss had been, Hawke doesn’t know what it’s changed for them. Would she still feel comfortable in his arms?

"You can, but it may change what you think about me." Evelyn averts her gaze from Hawke’s face. An ache fills her heart at the thought of him knowing what she had done. What will he think of her once he finds out? Will he ever want to hold her, or kiss her again? If he wants to be with her now, will he want to still, or will he be disgusted by her? Evelyn closes her eyes, forcing the tears back. Taking deep breaths, she calms down enough to look at his face again. "I should find somewhere to sleep. The past couple of days are starting to catch up to me." Hawke reaches for her hand and guides her to one of the cabins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 6/21/15


	7. Chapter 7

Hawke sits on the floor of the cabin and watches Evelyn sleep. "You wanted to see me. You want to know what hurt her, why she is different." Cole sits down beside Hawke, crossing his legs in front of him.

"I do, she gave me permission to ask." Hawke takes a deep breath, steadying himself. He is unsure if he truly wants to know what had happened to Evelyn. Does she really think he would look at her any differently once he knows whatever it is?

"She was used growing up, told that she was going to be married off whether she wanted to or not. They were going to use her to give her family a better social status. She cared for Cullen, and hoped he would care for her too. Would go to him at night, let him do things to her, hoping that he would eventually feel the same as she did. She didn't know any better, was never told what it was supposed to be like. It hurt her, but she wanted to help him, to show him she cared."

"He used her." Hawke's voice bitter, as he recalls when he had seen her at Skyhold, pain deeply etched in her face. "Is that what she meant when she said she didn't want to be used again?" Cole nods.

"Eventually, she grew strong enough to stop it, but it took a long time, and there was a lot of hurt. She wished her heart was made of silverite when she told him she couldn't anymore."

"How long?" Hawke asks quietly.

"It was almost two years." Cole looks from Hawke and to Evelyn. "It's been another two years since she ended it. She doesn't want to be used again, but you won't use her. You care about her, have cared about her since that mission in the Western Approach." Hawke and Cole sit in silence as Hawke digests the information Cole told him. He feels his blood boil as he thinks about how Evelyn had been hurt. Every time he had seen her in pain had been because of Cullen. His mind wanders to every look of sadness Evelyn quickly covered behind her mask, every time he read sorrow in her body language. Hawke never knew Cullen to be a man that would do such a thing, but it wouldn't be the first time he misjudged someone. Pausing in his thoughts, Hawke notices how eerily quiet it is, until a cannon firing shatters the silence.

"We're being hailed by a Ferelden war ship." Isabela calls down from the deck. Hawke looks over at Evelyn, who's wide awake and looking frightened.

"Can we out run it?" Hawke yells back.

"No!"

"Send Varric down, I'll be right up." Hawke sits down beside Evelyn on the bunk. "I'll make sure they don't take you." He gently caresses her cheek with his knuckles, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. A throat clearing draws their attention to the door.

"So what's the plan?" Varric asks, holding his crossbow.

"You and Cole stay with Evelyn. Lock the door behind me." Hawke squeezes Evelyn's hand before standing up, wishing he had more time to tell her he doesn’t think of her any differently knowing what she had kept bottled up inside.

"What are you going to do?" Evelyn looks at Hawke, worry in her blue eyes.

"I'm going to have words with a certain curly haired bastard." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 6/21/15


	8. Chapter 8

"Requesting permission to come aboard," Alistair waves, his voice cheerful.

"Alistair!" Isabela waves him over. A plank is set between the two ships, Alistair and Cullen crossing over. Hawke leans against the mast, giving Cullen a look of contempt.

"Where is she?" Cullen storms over to him. Hawke pulls a dagger out, pressing it against Cullen's crotch.

"Tell me, why I shouldn't just geld you right now?" Hawke growls, his voice full of hate. "Then throw you overboard to feed the sharks."

"What's going on here?" Alistair looks back and forth between the two men. "What happened?"

"Shall I tell them? Or do you want to?"

"It's no one's business." Cullen says firmly. "It was between me and Evelyn, and it's been over a long time now."

"Your Inquisition is trying to force someone on her, shouldn't that someone be privy to what you did? How you used her." Cullen bellows a battle cry, slamming into Hawke, knocking him down onto the deck.

"You're using her too, to get back at me for what happened in Kirkwall." Cullen unsheathes his sword, pointing it at Hawke. When he tries to get up, Cullen kicks him back down.

"You're pathetic if you think that." Hawke retorts, still on his back. He looks around for a way to get back on his feet, but sees the ways have been blocked off. "I truly do care for her, and I will listen to what she wants, even if it isn't me. I would never use her, like you did." Cullen screams, raising his sword above his head. Bringing it down, he aims for Hawke, only to be blocked by Evelyn's blade.

"You will not lay a hand on Hawke." Evelyn glares at Cullen, her strawberry colored hair dancing around her face.

"He kidnapped you!" Cullen growls, his voice rife with anger and frustration.

"No, I left with Cole. Hawke and Varric followed to make sure I was okay. They stayed with me, to make sure I stayed safe."

"Then why didn't they bring you back?" Cullen sheathes his sword, keeping his hands on the hilt.

"Because I did not want to go back, and they respected my wishes. Unlike some..." Evelyn looks around, at the ship she's on and the other. "I will not return."

"We were afraid you would say that." Alistair whistles loudly, and a dozen men armed with bows appear on the other ship. "You will need to come with us, or we will have to take drastic measures."

Evelyn glares at the blonde Ferelden men, "So, either I am to be taken prisoner or you will harm everyone on board? That I will be used by the Inquisition and anyone who is forced on me?" The men stare at her for a moment, and in that moment, she sees a flicker of pity cross their faces.

"It is what it is, Inquisitor." Cullen sighs, holding his hand out to her. "I know you didn't want this power, but you have it. It is your responsibility to do what you have to, even if you don't want to."

"You're saying that I what, have to be Inquisitor until I die?" Waiting for Cullen to respond, Evelyn knows she has a way out, in case they try to force her to go back. She won’t let them take her nor will she let anyone on the ship be harmed because of her.

"Yes, if the Inquisition lasts that long." Cullen reaches out for her, certain that she would rather go with them than have a ship full of people harmed. He sees Hawke stand up again, reaching for his daggers. Cullen knows that Hawke most likely won’t let her go without a fight, and part of him hopes it comes to that.

Evelyn slams her sword down, and reaches for a vial in her pocket. Pulling the stopper out with her teeth, she spits in in Cullen's face and drinks the contents before anyone can stop her. Evelyn feels her body grow colder as she starts to feel light headed. Falling to the wood below her, someone catches her before she lands and the world around her fades away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 6/21/15


	9. Chapter 9

Hawke catches Evelyn as she collapses. Panic sets in his heart when her eyes flutter shut. "Isabela, smell the vial." The pirate nods, and holds the vial to her nose.

"It's one of yours." Hawke nods, praying they can give her the antidote in time. It can’t end like this, he never got to tell her how much he cares for her. That what happened between her and Cullen doesn’t matter to him, that it doesn’t change what he thinks of her.

"It’s in the belt pouch on the right side blue liquid." Isabela unbuttons his pouch, and pulls the vial out. Hawke gently tips Evelyn's head back so Isabela can pour the antidote into her mouth. "It will take some time. She stays with us."

"No, she must come back with us," Cullen demands, taking a step toward Hawke. Gently handing Evelyn to Isabela, Hawke turns around and sucker punches Cullen. He won’t let anyone take Evelyn from him ever again, especially not Cullen.

"No, Maker damn you." Hawke shakes his hand. "Because of your demands she tried to kill herself. What do you think she'll do if she finds herself back where she ran away from?" Stepping in Cullen's way, Hawke sets himself between the former Templar and Evelyn.

"We will keep a better eye on her, make sure she doesn't harm herself." Cullen looks past Hawke to Evelyn, worry in his eyes. “We have healers, we can take better care of her.”

"And she won't resent you all more because of it? I don't understand why you are so stuck on having Evelyn lead the Inquisition. Coryfeus is dead and all of the rifts are closed, have someone else take the role of Inquisitor."

"Who else could we have do it? Who could step into the role as Evelyn did and do what she did?" Cullen folds his arms over his chest, glowering at Hawke. "If we could have thought of someone else, we would have."

"This will be the death of her, but all you people give a damn about is your Inquisition." Hawke thrusts his finger at Cullen. "What is this about, truly? Is it keeping peace or is it giving you something that you feel will absolve you of your past?" Alistair steps between the two men before it can become violent.

"How about Cullen and I get back on our ship, and we all go to Denerim? Cullen can send for Leliana and Lady Josephine and we can talk this through with Evelyn, like adults."

"Fine." Cullen and Hawke snap in unison. Isabela stands beside Hawke, watching the two blonde men board their ship.

"Are we really going to do that?" Isabela gingerly gives Evelyn back to Hawke. Cradling Evelyn in his arms, Hawke stares at where the other ship had been.

"I'll leave it up to Evelyn. If she wants to we will. If not, we find somewhere they can't reach us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 6/21/15


	10. Chapter 10

Hawke wrings excess water out of a cloth and presses it against Evelyn's forehead. Her temperature levels out, but doesn't drop, and she shivers when the cold cloth makes contact with her skin. "Are you sure you had the right antidote on you?"

"It's a cure-all Varric and I created that works on all the poisons I carry." Hawke stares at the bowl of water set on the table beside him. Why hasn’t it worked yet? She should be awake. "Do you have any elfroot, fresh or dried, it doesn't matter?"

"Probably, I'll have someone check."

"If you do, have your cook seep it in boiled water for half an hour and bring me the pot." Hawke senses Isabela leave the room as he delicately wipes a cloth down Evelyn's arms, and neck. Taking the cloth off of her forehead, he dunks it in the water. Squeezing out the rag, Hawke sets it back on her head.

 

A pot being set down on the table startles Hawke out of his thoughtless staring. Soon after, a plate is set down beside it. "You need to eat Hawke, you'll be no good to her if your starve yourself."

"You're right, thank you Isabela." He takes a large bite out of the bread, and looks at the herbs floating in the water. "I didn't think you would have more than elfroot, this will be so much more effective."

"The cook had them in his personal stash. He wanted to help, in thanks for what she did." Isabela sets her hand on Hawke's shoulder. "She'll make it through, I'm sure. With you being her sexy nurse, I bet she'll make a full recovery."

"I know you're trying to help, but could you not call me a sexy nurse. The antidote should have kicked in by now, I worry Evelyn added something that it doesn't cover."

"I'll check in again after the shift changes." Isabela squeezes his shoulder and leaves. Hawke tests the pot of water by sticking his hand in. He smiles, noticing a rune keeping the temperature just right. Dipping in a small cup, Hawke fills it with the herb water and moves to Evelyn's lips. He gently opens her mouth and pours the water in a little at a time. Once the cup is empty, he soaks the cloth that was on her head in the same water, and places it back on her forehead.

 

"She doesn't want to come back." Cole appears on the other side of the table. "She wants to be let go."

"Did she add anything to the poison?" Hawke asks, feeling as though his fight to heal Evelyn is an uphill battle through quicksand. Cole nods, and places a strange seed on the table.

"It was in her bag. A last resort if she was cornered. She never wants to see Skyhold again."

"Is there a cure for this?" Hawke looks at the boy, hoping he’ll know something, anything. When Cole shrugs, Hawke feels like screaming. "Ask Varric to join me, maybe he'll know." Cole nods and vanishes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 6/21/15


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been listening to the song on a loop because it's what popped into my head when I first started to work out this chapter in my head:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCmUhYSr-e4

Swinging her legs over the edge of the dock, Evelyn looks out over the lake. Her lake, the one she found years ago, when she needed a peaceful place the most. "Lethallan." The voice makes Evelyn straighten, her breath catching. She hadn't expected to ever hear it again.

"Solas." Evelyn looks up at the elf standing beside her. He offers his hand to her. Accepting, she lays her hand on top of it, and he pulls her up. "How? Why?" Evelyn's mind reels, a thousand questions explode in her head at once.

"I felt your need, and I came to help." Solas squeezes her hand, and looks around him. "This is the lake you told me about, right?" Evelyn nods. "It's been a place of refuge for many throughout history, including another from the Inquisition." Solas and Evelyn watch a boy with curly blonde hair sitting where she just sat. The image blurs, and suddenly there are four children of various ages running down the dock, and jumping into the lake. In the blink of an eye, a blonde man replaces the children. Tears roll down his cheeks, dropping into the water.

"Cullen." Evelyn whispers, not realizing she spoke. His eyes widen, and he turns to face her. Standing up, Cullen touches her to make sure she's real. Wrapping his arms around her, he sobs onto her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Evelyn embraces him, trying to comfort Cullen through her touch. "It's my fault, all my fault. You wouldn't have taken the poison if I didn't force your hand. You wouldn't have felt the pain you did for years if I hadn't been so selfish. I will always wonder what would have happened if I..."

"If you what, Cullen?"

"If I told you I care for you as soon as I knew, if I didn't do everything I did... Forgive me." Evelyn feels Cullen's arms tighten around her, as though he isn't ready to let her go just yet.

"I forgive you." Feeling tears build up in her eyes, Evelyn fights to push her emotions down. "But I am not coming back."

"What do you mean?" Cullen pulls away from Evelyn, and looks into her eyes. "No... I thought Hawke was able to cure you."

"He didn't know I added to the poison." Evelyn holds her hand out to show Cullen a seed that looked both green and brown at the same time.

"Where did you find that, lethallan?" Solas asks, taking the seed from her.

"You left them behind. I took them with me." Evelyn gasps when Solas grabs her hands, pulling her closer to him. The stare at one another, she sees emotions roll over his face like violent waves during a powerful storm.

"Repeat after me," Solas orders, "Amrita Vein, Crystal Grace, and Royal Elfroot."

"Amrita Vein, Crystal Grace, and Royal Elfroot." Evelyn frowns, wondering what the herbs had in common. "Why did I repeat that?"

"If anyone is by you, they would hear you say it in your sleep. That is the cure."

"No, I don't want to go back." Evelyn shakes her head, tears finally breaking free. "I am finally at peace. There's nothing..."

"What about Hawke?" Cullen interrupts Evelyn midsentence. "Isn't he worth going back for?"

Evelyn stares at Cullen, unsure what to say. She thinks of Malcolm, and her heart jumps into her throat. When had she come to care for him so deeply? Maybe she always did, but never realized it until now. Evelyn closes her eyes for a moment, and feels his lips against hers a tender pressure that sends a tingle throughout her body. His beard and mustache are a rough contrast against her skin to the softness of his lips. When she opens her eyes again, Evelyn frowns when she doesn’t see Malcolm. She has to live, to tell Malcolm what he means to her.

She looks back to Cullen, and sees pain in his eyes. Had he really cared for her all along? Evelyn thinks back to all that had happened between her and Cullen, trying to find the words to tell him that she did care for him, but she is falling in love with Malcolm.

"I just want you to live. If you live, I will help you leave the Inquisition." Cullen’s voice cuts through the silence.

"Promise?"

"I promise." Cullen gives her a half smile. “I hope he makes you happy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 6/21/15


	12. Chapter 12

Opening her eyes, Evelyn looks around, and is surprised that she's still on Isabela's ship. Her eyes land on a snoring Malcolm, sleeping on the ground using his arm for a pillow. Evelyn climbs out of the bunk, taking her pillow and a couple of blankets with her. Kneeling beside Malcolm, she covers him with a blanket before laying down beside him, pulling another blanket over her. Delicately, Evelyn touches his face with the tips of her fingers. Yawning, she closes her eyes and goes back to sleep.

 

Rising back to consciousness, Evelyn feels strong arms gently pick her up and hold her against a warm body. When she is delicately lowered on to the bunk, she sighs. "Are you going to tell her?"

"No, you heard what she said." Hawke starts to pull away from Evelyn. "If he makes her happy, who am I to stand in the way?"

"But he doesn't, and he won't. We only heard half of the conversation, we don't know the context.” Evelyn opens her eyes, and grabs Malcolm's hand before he can walk away. Varric's exit isn't noticed as Evelyn and Malcolm stare into each other’s eyes.

"I had a dream I was at the lake I told you about. Solas and Cullen were there. Apparently, Cullen would go there as a child."

Evelyn's squeezes Malcolm's hand, turning her gaze back to him. "Maybe we could go there together, someday."

"Wouldn't Cullen get upset?"

"Doubtful, he just wants me to live." Evelyn sits up, and pats the spot beside her on the bunk. He sits down, facing her. "When I was talking with him, Cullen asked me about you and weren't you worth coming back for."

"So, you and Cullen aren't..."

"No, but maybe someday he and I can be friends." Evelyn smiles at Malcolm, a light blush coloring her cheeks. She leans in close, their noses almost touching. "You see there's already this guy I'm fond of, and I have it on good authority that he's fond of me too."

"More than fond, my lady."

"Good." Evelyn whispers. She softly plants a kiss on his lips. Evelyn cups Malcolm's cheek with one hand and rests the other on his shoulder. They lean into each other for another kiss, Malcolm wrapping his arms around her torso. The door swinging open makes them break their kiss.

"It's about damn time you found someone." Dorian enters the cabin. "Though you and I need to have a chat."

"How did you get here? We're out in the middle of the Waking Sea."

"Another ship." Dorian sits on the bed. "Bull, and Sera are here too. Cullen asked me to deliver a note to you, and told me to bring anyone who would want to join."

"You forgot to mention me." A voice says from the entrance to the cabin.

"Ah yes, forgive me, my lady." Dorian smirks at the woman. "And this is Solana Amell, otherwise known as the Hero of Ferelden."

"All we need to do now is walk into a tavern, and Varric would have a stroke." Malcolm grins, amusement in his voice, making everyone laugh.

"Anyway, here's the letter." Dorian hands Evelyn the note. "We will talk later." From the expression on his face, she knows she's in for a lecture. Evelyn breaks the seal on the letter, and reads Cullen's neat blocky handwriting.

 

_Evelyn,_

_Do not come to Denerim. Josephine and Leliana have brought a large force with them, and I expect they mean to use it to make you come back to Skyhold. I made a promise to you, and I intend to keep it. I sent what's left of your inner circle, because I know they would want to be with you. In addition, Solana Amell requested to join them. I would be weary of her as she is romantically involved with Leliana. I wouldn't have agreed to it, but I didn't know how to turn down the woman who saved my life years ago._  
_I hope you find happiness, and the life you want to have._

_Cullen_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 6/22/15


	13. Chapter 13

"You and I need to talk." Evelyn gestures for him to follow her below deck. Once the door is closed to her cabin, Dorian lays into her. "What the Void were you thinking? Were you even thinking? How is death preferable to anything, damn it?"

"It is preferable to a loveless marriage, to being a prisoner because I have this damn thing on my hand so that Josephine and Leliana can maintain power." Evelyn watches Dorian pace in front of her, ranting to himself.

"And the people who love you? Those of us you would have left behind. How can you be so selfish?" Dorian stops pacing and stares at Evelyn, with his arms crossed in front of him.

"I have never been selfish before in my life, and you know it." Evelyn glares at Dorian. "I thought I would be done with the Inquisition after Coryfeus, after all the rifts were closed." Taking a deep breath, Evelyn looks away for a moment. "When Cullen said that I would most likely be Inquisitor for the rest of my life, I didn't see another way."

"Would it really have been so bad?" Dorian reaches for Evelyn's hands. "Think of all the good you've done."

"Yes, I want to live my own life. You know what I had hoped for. Josephine would have continued to force noble after noble on me until I couldn't take it any more. I would go through the proposals early on, and none of them would have given a damn about me or what I want. I would have gone from leader of the Inquisition to brood mare and puppet."

"I understand why you ran, Maker knows I do, but to try to kill yourself..."

"Alistair and Cullen tried to force me to leave with them by threatening to injure or kill everyone else on board this ship. They had archers ready to fire."

"So you were being both selfish and selfless." Dorian pulls Evelyn into an embrace. "Just promise me you won't do that again. You're my family, and it nearly killed me when I found out."

"I promise." Evelyn whispers, resting her head on Dorian's shoulder. 


	14. Chapter 14

"So why are you here?" Hawke eyes his cousin suspiciously.

"I want to help the Inquisitor." Solana raises an eyebrow at him. "Why else would I be here?"

"Well, you are Leliana's lover. Would it be so difficult to believe that you are here because she asked you to be?" Hawke stares at Solana, watching for any tells, but sees that none will be easily had.

"I suppose not, and I can understand why you would think I am." Solana sighs, looking out over the water. "But I do understand where Evelyn is coming from, having lived in the circle for most of my life, only being able to leave to become a Warden. I am Leliana's lover, but I won't let anyone force Evelyn to do anything she doesn't want to. She saved us all, while I was off being selfish. I feel she deserves whatever help I can give her to ride off into the sunset."

"She's telling the truth." Cole appears between Hawke and Solana. 

"Thank you, Cole." The spirit beams and disappears as quickly as he had appeared.

 

A hand slips into Hawke's, fingers intertwining with his as he stares out at the seemingly endless expanse of water. He looks over at the owner of the hand and smiles at Evelyn.

"Did you have your conversation with Dorian?"

"I did, and he laid into me, which is what I expected and deserved."

"Yeah, you did. It was terrifying." Malcolm pulls Evelyn into an embrace. "I didn't know why my antidote didn't work, it was like fighting an uphill battle while running through quicksand. If the cook didn't have such an expansive herb collection, you would have died. I would have lost my chance to tell you, to show you how much I care for you."

"When did you start to care for me?" Evelyn gazes into Malcolm's eyes. 

"When I first met you, I cared for you, partly because you were cleaning up a mess that I made. And each time I met you after, I found that I cared for you more. It was after the ritual tower, when you let me in that I knew I cared for you, not because of what was going on, but for you as a person. I wanted to take care of you, to help you. And anytime I saw you in pain, I wanted to take the pain away. To make you happy, but I didn't know how, or if you would want me to."

"I wish I knew." Evelyn squeezes Malcolm, planting kisses all over his face, before he captures her lips with his. Sighing into his lips, Evelyn basks in the joy of being in his arms, feeling his lips against hers. Breaking the kiss, she beams at him. "I'm glad I know now."


	15. Chapter 15

As Malcolm looks out at the island a feeling of unease overtakes him. The hairs on the back of his neck are standing up. "It's most likely a trap." Evelyn says quietly, as though she was reading his thoughts.

"Most likely, if it is, find somewhere to hide." Malcolm wraps his arms around her from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"I doubt I would be able to stay hidden for long, Malcolm. It's an island, there's nowhere to run to."

"Oh, so he lets you call him Malcolm. Interesting..." Varric cuts into their conversation. "With everyone else he's Hawke."

"Let me guess, you're looking for material for your next story." Malcolm rolls his eyes, as Evelyn laughs.

"This is as close as we get!" Isabela shouts. "Small boats from here!" Kissing Evelyn, Malcolm tries to push the uneasiness out of his mind.

 

Malcolm watches Evelyn toss her shoes off and chase Sera around the beach, laughing as they run. Bull and Dorian take the supplies off the small boats and set them down up the beach, away from where the water would rise to at high tide. "You should have enough food for several weeks and there is a spring and a brook on the island for water and cleaning."

"Thank you, Isabela. I can't tell you how much it means to me, to us all."

"Oh, don't go getting mushy on me Hawke." Isabela laughs. "We'll be back in a couple of months to check in on you all." Waving, she and the few members of her crew that accompanied them got back into their boats to go back to their ship.

"Something feels wrong." Bull walks up to Hawke. "I don't know what it is, but something feels off."

"Evelyn and I felt it before, on the ship."

"But you would rather take your chances with going against your gut feeling rather than wait for something to happen where we could all drown." Bull pats Hawke on the back. "Smart move, with all of us here on dry land, not many would stand a chance."

"Hopefully it won't come to fighting at all."

"Crap..." Varric mutters under his breath. When Hawke turns to see what Varric is looking at, his jaw drops. Marching toward them is a unit of Inquisition scouts, with Leliana and Josephine leading them. Hawke notices the others with him move to stand closer together, with Evelyn slipping her hand in his. When the scouts stop, Leliana and Josephine approach the group.

"The time for fun and games has ended, Inquisitor." Josephine taps her foot, staring at Evelyn. "It is time for you to come back with us and do your duty."

"Why can't one of you take over?" Hawke steps in front of Evelyn, blocking her from any potential attack.

"We don't want to do this, Hawke, but she is the only one who can unite the nations of Thedas under the Inquisition banner. We need her to continue working to maintain the peace." Leliana's voice sounds sorrowful, like she would rather not have made the trip to get Evelyn.

"There are other ways, other people that could take over. What about Cullen?"

"We would rather not have to take Evelyn by force, but we will if we have to." Josephine glowers, her voice ominous. "She is the Inquisitor, the Herald of Andraste, whether she likes it or not, and if we have to, we will make her come back."

"How do you intend to do that?" Hawke watches Josephine make a gesture, but nothing seems to happen.

"Move!" Evelyn shouts, shoving him out of the way. Landing on his knees, an ear piercing scream erupts from Evelyn behind him. Turning around, Hawke sees a pillar of magic surrounding Evelyn's body, rising up into the sky. His heart stops when he sees the pain etched into her face. When the spell ends, Evelyn lands on her knees and falls forward into his arms. 


	16. Chapter 16

Solana watches in horror as the woman who saved the world is in the grips of a spell. She had never seen the likes of it before. It looked like three spells woven together. Running toward Evelyn, Solana ignores the suspicious looks. Dropping to her knees beside her cousin, she gently lays Evelyn on her back. "Dorian!" She calls out ignoring Leliana's startled expression. The other mage kneels beside her, and together they work to find out if they can save Evelyn.

"This is going to take healing that's well above what I can do." Dorian hangs his head. Solana places her hand on his shoulder to comfort him. On her other side, she feels her cousin rocking back and forth. Turning to him, her heart clenches at the sight.

Tears running down his face as he stares at Evelyn, "no, no, no. I can't lose another person I love." Varric sits down beside him, wrapping his arms around Hawke, to let him cry on his shoulder.

Closing her eyes, Solana recalls everything Wynne had taught her about healing. Opening her eyes again, she hopes it's enough. "I'll need lyrium potions." Solana says to no one in particular before she starts to cast healing spells on Evelyn.

 

Hours and many lyrium potions later, Solana casts her last spell. Sweat covers her body from the exertion of hours of casting non-stop. When the spell finishes, Solana falls back on to her rear and prays she saved her cousin's love. "I don't know if it will be enough, but I did all I could."

"Thank you, cousin." Solana squeezes Hawke’s hand before getting up to have a few words with Josephine and Leliana. Storming over to them, she stops short when she sees the looks on their faces.

"What the Void were you two thinking?" Solana slaps Josephine while glaring at Leliana. "You might have just had the Inquisitor killed, and for what? So you could drag her back to something she didn't want?"

"We... We didn't expect the spell to be like that." Josephine explains, her face mostly drained of color, save for the red cheek where she had been hit. "It was just supposed to be a paralysis spell, temporary that did no damage. We didn't know that the mage was going to do that."

"Was it worth it to track her down? She was happy, and you came swooping in to take it from her, and your actions may have cost her so much more."

"If we could find someone else who can do what she did, we would have let her go after the last rift was closed." Josephine stares down at her hands. "I, we know the pain we caused her, but we needed to put our personal feeling aside for the good of all."

"Don't give me that crap, the good of all." Solana spits at Josephine's feet. "I've been force fed that tired line for a decade. You want to keep the Inquisition going for whatever reason, and you justified your actions through that garbage you just tried to feed me. Because you thought you needed her. It never mattered to you people that her mental health was deteriorating."

"That's not true!" Leliana exclaims. "We did and do care."

"And yet you did not one thing to help her, on the contrary, you made it worse. You all lectured her about the good of all, trying to force her to marry some idiot noble because it was expected of her." Solana paces for a moment, trying to regain control of her emotions.

"How do you know all of this?" Leliana gives her a look of suspicion.

"Dorian and Cole told me everything." Solana balls her hands into fists. "Cullen deserves a thrashing for what he did, and you two as well for not trying to stop it. Two years... Two Maker damn years, and not a peep from either of you." Turning to walk away before she hurts them, Solana feels a hand on hers. Yanking it free, she turns to scowl at Leliana. "You used to be someone I could love with all my heart, but I don't know you anymore. It’s over between you and I."

"Solana, please, don't leave me." Leliana begs, tears in her eyes. Solana shakes her head and walks away.


	17. Chapter 17

Sitting beside Evelyn, Malcolm holds one of her hands between his own. "I need you to live. I'm not trying to guilt you, but I can't lose any more people I love." He lightly kisses her thumb. "I lost my dad three years before the blight, I never knew how he died." Malcolm kisses her index finger. "My brother, Carver died during the blight. He and I were constantly bickering, but I would give anything to have him back." He presses his lips against her middle finger. "My sister, Bethany died in the Deep Roads, when we went on an expedition with Varric. I wish I never took her with me. I tried to protect her, but I couldn't protect her from the blight. I had to give her mercy." Tears roll down Malcolm's face ignored as he kisses Evelyn's ring finger. "My mother was murdered, by a blood mage who thought he could bring his lost love back, using bits and pieces of several women... If I had paid more attention to what was going on, maybe I could have saved her." He kisses her pinky.

"None of that was your fault, cousin." Solana sits down beside him, setting her hand on his shoulder.

"Not all, but some of it." Malcolm holds Evelyn's hand to his face. "Evelyn could die because she wanted to save me."

"Not if I can help it." Solana squeezes his shoulder. "Though I wish Anders was about, he is a better healer than I am. He could have healed her easily." Malcolm closes his eyes, inhaling sharply. "What? Do you know him?"

"He's dead." Malcolm replies, almost inaudibly. "He blew up the Chantry in Kirkwall, and I killed him for it."

"What? Why? It couldn't have been the same man. He would never have done such a thing."

"He was an abomination, he had a spirit in him."

"Justice..." Malcolm hears the anger in Solana's voice. "I knew I should have killed the spirit when I had the chance."

"It seems we both have our fair share of regrets." Malcolm sighs, squeezing Evelyn's hand. "Do you think she will live?" Solana summons healing magic and scans Evelyn's body.

"She should, but I want to keep an eye on her just to be sure." Solana stands, frowning at the Inquisition scouts that set up camp not far from their camp. "I have Bull dealing with that mage, and I took charge of the scouts, because Leliana and Josephine can't seem to agree long enough to give orders."

"Maybe you should be Inquisitor." Malcolm suggests, watching the Inquisition scouts relaxing in their camp.

"I very well may. If she lives, I'll make sure it doesn't fall to her anymore. If two out of three of us can leave all of this behind, I would be okay with being the third. It wouldn't be the first time I've taken up leadership and run with it." Solana leans down, and pecks Malcolm on the cheek. "Believe in her, she's stronger than she knows."


	18. Chapter 18

Standing in a field, Evelyn wonders where she is. Looking around, she guesses it's somewhere in the Hinterlands. Children’s laughter makes her turn to look for them. Three children, two boys and a girl all with black hair are running around not far from a hut. Evelyn walks in their direction, and when they see her, they run out to meet her. The elder boy has brown eyes, but the other two children have light blue eyes. "Hi, my name is Evelyn." She reaches her hand out to shake hands with them.

"I'm Malcolm, and these are my brother and sister, Carver and Bethany."

"I could have introduced myself." Carver grouses. Malcolm rolls his eyes at Carver and sticks his tongue at him. Carver pushes Malcolm and runs. Malcolm chases after him with threats of tickling. Evelyn watches the boys run around and smiles.

"They were always like that." Evelyn turns back to the girl, Bethany, to find she is no longer a child, but an adult. "But they loved one another, and they would both try to protect me."

"So this is the woman my baby boy has fallen in love with." An older female voice says. A woman who looks like an older version of Bethany appears beside the other woman. She watches the woman scrutinize her, and it makes Evelyn feel as though she were not just naked, but transparent. "I'm glad he's found someone at last. Please tell him we're so proud of him."

"I will. Where are we?"

"This is one of the places we lived when the children were growing up." A man answers. When he materializes between Malcolm’s mother and Bethany, she gasps. "I know he looks just like me." Malcolm's father grins. "You need help getting back, and we can help you. My daughter and I were mages when we were alive. We specialized in healing."

"And while Solana did an amazing job healing your physical wounds, you need help healing the last of your mental wounds. The spell that was cast on you was really three spells merged, paralysis, physical damage, and mental damage." Bethany taps her fingers against her chin.

"If it landed on my son, he would have died. Thank you for saving my boy."

"He is precious to me." Malcolm's father nods, and reaches out to his wife, and his daughter. Carver reaches for his sister's and mother's hands. The four of them make a circle around Evelyn.

"Tell my brother I'm sorry I was such an ass." Carver smirks. "And that I really do love him."

"Tell him I miss him, and that I don't blame him for what happened in the Deep Roads. It was my decision to go." Tears streak down Bethany's cheeks. Evelyn reaches out to her, and gently wipes them off.

"Tell my baby boy that his father and I are so proud of him, and that we love him." Evelyn nods at the older woman.

"Take care of my boy. And let him take care of you." Light surrounds the two mages, filling the space in the circle until Evelyn can no longer see anything but white light. When she blinks, Evelyn is no longer standing in the field, but lying down on a bed roll, with Malcolm sleeping beside her.


	19. Chapter 19

Rolling on to her side, Evelyn watches Malcolm sleep. She smiles to herself as she watches his chest rise and fall with each breath. Evelyn shifts over, so she can be right next to Malcolm, laying her head on his chest. Malcolm's left arm wraps around her, his hand resting on her arm. With his right hand, he gently caresses her cheek. "You're awake."

"I am," Evelyn props herself up on her elbow to look into his eyes. Her breath catches at the look he is giving her. Malcolm turns onto his side, and tucks a stray lock of hair behind Evelyn's ear, before he leans into Evelyn, kissing her languidly. The tent flap opens, but Evelyn chooses to ignore the person, deepening the kiss with Malcolm, stopping him from looking to see who it is. Evelyn feels him smile against her lips. A few minutes later, they hear Solana's voice. "If you disturb them, Dorian, you're going to get a fireball up your rear."

"You're no fun." Dorians retorts. Evelyn and Malcolm start laughing, breaking the kiss.

"I love you, Evelyn." Malcolm searches her eyes as he speaks. Evelyn shivers at the intensity of his gaze, while feeling as though her body is buzzing, her heart speeding up at his words.

"I love you too." Evelyn’s mouth curves into a smile, as her heart fills with warmth. "I want to tell you something, about when I was unconscious."

"Oh?" Malcolm gives her a worried look. Evelyn takes a deep breath and begins to fill him in on what she experienced in a field somewhere in Ferelden. How she saw him and his siblings as children, and spoke to the adult versions of his brother and sister, as well as his parents. She passed on their words to him, and told him how they healed her. Malcolm listens to her in stunned silence, tears rolling down his cheeks ignored. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Evelyn gently wipes away his tears. "I'm glad I was able to push you out of the way of that spell."

"I was so afraid I was going to lose you." Malcolm closes his eyes, taking several deep breaths. "The pain you were in... Please, promise me you won't do that again."

"I can't." Evelyn frowns at Malcolm. "If I didn't, you would have died. The pain I was in would have been nothing, in comparison."

"But I should protect you."

"Says the rogue to the warrior." Evelyn raises an eyebrow at Malcolm. "How about we protect each other instead?"

"I suppose that will work." Malcolm smirks at Evelyn. She smiles back at him as they lean into each other for another kiss.


	20. Chapter 20

Solana paces by the fire, waiting for Evelyn and Hawke to emerge from their tent. Now that Evelyn is awake, Solana can tell her about the plan she thought up to take over the mantle of Inquisitor. After what seemed like hours, Solana spots Evelyn walking toward her. "Antsy?"

"Yes, well..." Solana sighs, biting her lower lip. "I have a plan, and it will only require a signature on your part. I will take over as Inquisitor, and you and my cousin can ride off into the sunset."

"Are you sure you want to do that?" Evelyn flashes her a look of concern. "I can't ask..."

"You're not asking I'm taking. Only you, my cousin, and I are suited for the position. I want the two of you to be able to have a life together, one that doesn't involve all this complication. I would have been Inquisitor if I hadn't been looking for a cure for the calling." Solana pulls a piece of parchment out of one of her bags, and hands it to Evelyn, with a quill and a jar of ink. "I was able to get word to Isabela when you were unconscious. The plan is for you and any of your inner circle that want to remain with you to slip out under the cover of dark."

"All right," Evelyn signs the parchment and hands it back to Solana. "Who's joining me?"

"Varric, Cole, and Sera will be joining you. Bull wants to stay with the Inquisition, and Dorian wants to stay with Bull."

"Thank you, truly." Evelyn embraces Solana in a bear hug. "This means more to me than I can express with words.

"All the thanks I need are for you and my cousin to be happy." Solana smiles at Evelyn, watching her walk back to the tent to fill Hawke in on the plan.

 

"Did she take off again?" Josephine asks, annoyed. Solana grins at the ambassador, handing her the note of succession. The Antivan raises an eyebrow at the document and hands it to Leliana.

"You are taking over?" Leliana stares at Solana for a moment. "Why?"

"It’s so that two out of three of the group can be happy." Solana looks at Josephine again. "Which idiot noble were you trying to force on Evelyn?" Looking back and forth between the two women, Solana feels nothing but confusion at their expressions. Josephine looks amused, and Leliana looks torn between pain and amusement. "Please tell me it wasn't some Orlesian. There are a lot of things I will put up with, but marrying a masked fool isn't one of them."

"What about an unmasked fool?" A familiar voice behind her asks. Solana spins, and comes face to face with Alistair. He takes her hand, bringing it up to his mouth to press a light kiss on her knuckles. Solana blushes when his lips touch her skin. "I've always cared about you, Solana. I know that you and Leliana are lovers, but perhaps..."

"She and I are over." Solana replies, cutting Alistair off. "What we were ended years ago, it just took this long to realize it." Alistair nods at Solana, looking sympathetically over her shoulder. "When should we be wed?"

"Would six months work for the both of you?" Josephine looks at both Solana and Alistair. They nod in agreement. "It should give me enough time to plan the wedding, and of course you would want Divine Victoria to officiate the ceremony." Solana stares at the ambassador, feeling like she could see Josephine mentally planning every last detail as they stand on the beach.


	21. Chapter 21

Evelyn wakes up to voices just outside the door. "No, Isabela."

"But why not?" Evelyn hears a whine in the pirate's voice.

"Because I'm not going to push, when it happens, it happens. You may not realize this, Isabela, but good things are worth waiting for."

"But it's been two weeks already. I can help you, until she's ready." Sitting up, Evelyn frowns at the implication of what Isabela is offering. Before she can stand up to interrupt the conversation, Malcolm makes a disgusted noise that would make Cassandra proud.

"No, Isabela. I am already taken, and I can wait for as long as Evelyn needs. And if it takes a long time, I would rather use my hands than call on your aid." Malcolm opens the door, and walks in carrying a tray of food. "Ah, you're awake. How much of that conversation did you hear?"

"Quite a lot of it." Evelyn taps her fingers against her leg, watching Malcolm set the tray down on the table.

"I meant it, by the way." Malcom sits down beside her. "I will wait until you are ready, whenever it is."

"I... I don't know if or when I will be ready." Evelyn closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. "Cullen was my first, and while he did do things for me before, when it came to sex he took."

"And you're worried that is how it's supposed to be?" Evelyn nods, biting her lower lip. "I don't want to cause you any pain, but..."

"You want to know what it was like between Cullen and me." Closing her eyes, Evelyn feels Malcolm hold her hands between his. She takes several deep breaths, before opening her eyes again. "He would perform oral on me, and then we would have sex, either against the wall or bent over his desk. He would cover my mouth sometimes because he didn't want anyone to hear, and would thrust as fast as he could. It ended when he orgasimed and then he would pull out of me, and turn around while I gathered my clothing and left." Tears flowed freely from her eyes as she recalled sex with Cullen to Malcolm. "You must think me a pathetic person for letting that happen for so long, because I hoped he would care."

"No, no, never." Malcolm wraps his arms around Evelyn. Crying into his shoulder, Evelyn feels him rubbing her back, his head resting on top of hers. "I think you deserved better than what happened between you and Cullen. I wish I had punched him more than once."

"You punched him?" Evelyn’s mouth fell open. She stares at him for a moment, not remembering him ever laying a hand on Cullen.

"I did, it was after you had taken the poison." Malcolm gently squeezes her. "He wanted to take you back with him, and I punched him, because there was no way I was going to let him take you from me." Pulling away from Malcolm, Evelyn looks into his eyes. He wipes away her tears, before cupping her cheeks with his hands. Leaning in he kisses her softly. "When you are ready, I will show you what making love is truly like." Malcolm kisses her again, Evelyn melting into his kiss.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, there is a difference between sex and making love. It's the same act, but the intent is different. Making love strengthens the bond between two people who love each other, not ending until both people are satisfied." Kissing Evelyn again, Malcolm traces her lips with his tongue, making her whimper. "And after, cuddling and kissing. The physical bond between two people is as important as the emotional one, but it isn't something that should be pushed, which is why I will wait for as long as you need."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 6/22/15


End file.
